When Smart Devices Go Wrong – InsuranceNewsNet

I think my toaster is watching me.

Is it paranoia? Maybe, but I’m not the only one who believes my privacy is being invaded by household gadgets supposedly designed to improve our lives.

A new report from something called Mortgage Cadence shows that while a large majority of respondents said smart tech items make their lives easier, 73% still worry about those same devices spying on them.

It comes from a press release that I received on a computer and which I am absolutely certain is spying on me. I’m sure Mortgage Cadence is a real, reputable company, but it sounds like the name of a femme fatale from an 80s prime time soap opera.

JR Ewing, I invite you to meet Mrs. Mortgage Cadence, owner of this establishment and heir to the Cadence fortune. She was certainly eager to speak with you.”

Mr. Ewing, honored to meet you. Please speak directly into the lamp while discussing your latest business ventures.”

According to the statement, the main concerns were privacy, espionage, security and targeted marketing.

Sixty-two percent of respondents are worried about their security camera being hacked and 23% are worried about smart locks being compromised.

One in five said they own more than seven different smart devices for their home.

The top reasons people say they invest in smart home technology are safety/security and the ability to control devices when they’re away. americans spend $1,172 on average on home smart devices, but say they would be willing to spend $2,475according to Mortgage Cadence, who walked down the stairs in a tight dress.

As the acting senior privacy and technology correspondent for this award-winning publication (I promoted myself last week), I decided to take this opportunity to answer some frequently asked questions about the results of this investigation and the issues surrounding privacy in the age of smart technology.

Q. Hello, Scott. Your toaster is talking to you! At Acme Enhanced Appliances, a subsidiary of Nakatomi Company in collaboration with Zuckerberg Inc., has installed a handy monitoring chip in your ToastBlaster 3000 to improve your drinking experience and certainly not to log your drinking habits or videos of you walking around the kitchen in your underwear that we might post if you don’t buy any additional Acme Enhanced devices within the next 18 months. How do you find your ToastBlaster 3000?

A. Um, actually I’m a bit disappointed with the quality of the toast he produces. I’ve adjusted the options, but it keeps coming out a product that’s not brown enough for my toast taste.

Q. Maybe you shouldn’t put so much butter on your toast. We have observed an inordinate amount being used in the preparation of your toast products and our built-in cholesterol sensing touch lever shows that you are at high risk for heart disease. This has been reported to your health insurance fund, which must adjust your premiums accordingly. Would you like me to research a gym membership in your area?

A. It’s a scandal! How dare you invade my privacy with your technological gibberish. Why, I intend to contact your company and complain about an unwanted intrusion into my life.

Q. Would you like me to instruct your smartphone to call the Acme Enhanced Appliance Consumer Helpline?

A. Yes.

Q. Hello. This is the Acme Enhanced Appliance Consumer Helpline. My name is Mortgage Cadence. How can I help you today?

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